Understanding and Cultivating Confidence with Lisa Sun's "Gravitas: The 8 Strengths that Redefine Confidence"

Lisa Sun's book "Gravitas: The 8 Strengths that Redefine Confidence," released by Hay House, has been quite useful in acquiring a deeper knowledge of confidence. Lisa is the creator and CEO of the same-named firm (Gravitas), which is a clothing company, or, more specifically, a company that helps women regain their confidence via clothes. Lisa's experience as a young McKinsey consultant gave rise to gravitas (both the firm and the book).

"Lisa comes out as young and excessively exuberant at times. She should try to convey more seriousness." Since Lisa's initial professional examination in 2001.

I am not as young as Lisa was at the time, having lived more than half of my life (most certainly). So, I'm not young or too excited. But, like most people, I have days and times when I struggle with my confidence. I like Lisa's book because she broadens the notion of confidence, making it easier for each of us to identify one, two, or more instances in which we demonstrate confidence.

Lisa's book dives into a more complex understanding of confidence, categorizing it into eight separate "confidence languages" or strengths. The book's premise challenges traditional and frequently restrictive notions of confidence, arguing that real self-assurance is a multidimensional construct. She contends that everyone has intrinsic qualities that contribute to their own sense of confidence and that acknowledging them may help people live more truly and powerfully. I appreciate how the book, although partially autobiographical, is also informed by quantitative and qualitative research.  

So, what are those eight ways in which we can think about and display confidence? 

The Eight Confidence Languages:

1. Leadership: This personality type focuses on creating goals, influencing people, and taking charge. Leaders are distinguished by their capacity to rally others around a shared objective, making them essential in group dynamics and organizational environments. As someone who has been in some type of leadership for the past two decades, as well as researching and teaching leadership for the same amount of time, it was no surprise that this was one of my superpowers. But, as I've already stated, the final several years at my former work left massive gaps in my perception of leadership efficacy. It has taken almost two years to regain this superpower.  

2. Performing: Those who succeed in this area are comfortable in the spotlight and excel in circumstances requiring them to deliver or present. Performers use their energy and charm to captivate and inspire others. As an ardent speaker, it comes as no surprise that this is one of my strengths. I enjoy being on stage, whether to educate or talk. 24 years ago, I would have avoided this location unless I was chatting with youngsters.

3. Achieving: This language is about creating and accomplishing objectives, and it frequently exceeds expectations due to determination and a focus on outcomes. Achievers are motivated by a strong sense of purpose and ambition. Again, no surprise here: this was a superpower for me. If the exam had displayed percentages, I believe I would have demonstrated extraordinary drive and desire. It appears on my StrengthsFinder as well.. 

4. Giving: People who are fluent in this language feel confident in helping and encouraging others. Their strength resides in caring, nurturing, and creating circumstances in which others may thrive—and it turns out that many women have this talent.

This is the most common superpower among women; half of the women we studied ranked it as their top characteristic. This ability is frequently demonstrated in jobs that focus on assisting others' growth, healing, and advancement. 

5. Knowing: This confidence is derived from knowledge and competence. Individuals with this strength are appreciated for their knowledge and insight, and they frequently serve as go-to sources of information and advice. Consider some of the statements that describe this confidence language. No surprise, it's one of my strengths.

You like gathering and studying data before reaching a conclusion or formulating an opinion. You live by the mantra, "Knowledge is Power." You consider yourself a sensible and rational individual.  

6. Creating: These people are motivated by their creativity and believe in their own ability to innovate and be unique. They excel at thinking outside the box and bringing fresh ideas to reality. They are creative; they have dreams and aspirations that they strive hard to make a reality. I was astonished to see this as one of my abilities, so I tested it again after a few days. I admit to having times of low self-confidence.

7. Believe: Belief-based confidence is founded on faith and conviction, which frequently motivates people to keep their ideals and urge others to do the same. These persons are frequently viewed as moral and inspirational leaders. And, in case you automatically linked this to organized religion, this is not always the case:

Positive intent is the lens through which you view everyone and everything; you can find the good in anything and believe that you, too, have the ability to be a force for good. A values orientation, idealism, and a feeling of higher purpose drive your motives and keep you focused on what is genuinely important. I've met several folks who aren't conventionally religious yet utilize this confidence language. And, yeah, it shows up in my evaluation as well, and I am one of them who is both religious and spiritual.

8. Self-Sustaining: This language is distinguished by a strong internal sense of value and independence. Self-sustaining persons are self-sufficient and unaffected by external affirmation. The book's description of those with this attribute accurately reflects me: they view their life events as a source of strength and purpose, rather than regret. You are proud of how far you have gone.  

It should come as no surprise that self-sustaining is a confidence language common among the elderly, possibly because they have seen the good, the terrible, and the ugly, survived it all, and lived long enough to tell the tale. In Lisa Sun's research, over 50% of people who possessed this superpower were between 55 and 75. 

How can you determine which of these eight is your confidence language? Take the self-assessment; it's free at gravitasnewyork.com. I also recommend reading the book, since it paints a much more complete picture of each of the eight and offers thorough advice on how to effectively use your abilities. Also keep an eye out for our confidence masterclasses and our self-paced course on how to become a more confident leader.